Our twisted lovesquare!
by Zevviac and Zevvy
Summary: It's the marauders(sp) {We stoopid} 6th year and a very interesting...love square is going on. We MIGHT have mpreg in later chapters. Only if you lovely reviewers want it. Mention: Remmie, Jamie, Siri, Sev, and rat-a {BURN IN HLL YOU!}
1. Default Chapter

Twintwo: Heyya!! just thought...

Twinone:..we'd bring ya some good story (smirks)

Both: Beware the twins phsyco little world!!!!!!! Mhuahhhhhaaaaaaaa

Twinone:moo

Twintwo:ok i dont claim you anymore!!

Twinone:NOOOOOOO you cant..... you wont....(suddenly smirks) I'll tell about when i found you and..

Twintwo:you wouldent! (a look of out rage on face)

Mom:Dinner! get your ahem never mind get down here!

Both: Dinner??? ohhh gotta go buhbuy!

Disclaimer: We may scream and shout CRUCIO everywhich way...but Harry Potter well never be ours....

Saddly. Twinone: Or not with our state of mind. Twintwo: Quite right. Psychiatrist: There you two are!!

Both: (shivering bunnie looks) oh fuck....start running(screams crucio instead) TBC....

**__**

Our twisted love triangle chapter one: Once long ago in a distant land....not really.

James, his sixteenth b-day:

A tall muscular teen sneaks toward an unsuspecting figure who was currently having a very good dream about a certain someone. The figure stands over the bed a moment with a wicked smirk. After a moment or two he pounces.

" RISE AND SHINE JAMIE!!!!!"

" SIRIUS???( Twins: HE'S OURS, YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!! SIRUS LIVES!!!) WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY, not much, ARE YOU DOING WAKING ME UP AT THE BUTT-CRACK OF DAWN?!" Sirius snuggles into Jamie.

" What? Don't you want Gryffindor sex-god in your bed?" Sirius says putting on a pouty face. Jamie roles his eyes and thinks to himself ' _Iswear he already was..._' Remus walks into the room followed by Peter. (Twins: DIE! BURN IN HELL!!!) Remus rolls his eyes the two occupants in the bed as Peter looks as confussed as ever.

" Moving through our dormmates are we Padfoot?" Remus said with an all-knowing smirk which only confusses Peter even more.

" I don't get it."-Ratass

" And you never will."-Siri

" Be nice."-Remmi

" Get out of my bed!" James yells at Sirius who takes no heed. Remmi getting an idea jumps in and snuggles to his other side.

" What the FUCK?!"-Jamie

" Is that what you really what to do Jamie? Me and Remmi well be happy to _ass_-ist in _that_."-Siri

" Of course with a great blowjob." Severus said who just walked in. Peter goes cower in a corner barily realizing what was going on. Remus looks away in disgust while James and Sirius blush.

" I get Jamie first!" Pouts Remus.

" No way in bloody hell! He's mine!" Sirius declares snuggling closer (if possible) to James. Sev jumps right on top of James who yells in protest that goes unnoticed. Sev growls.

" I believe he's under me so that makes him mine."

" No way at all you dimwitts, you couldn't tell a blowjob from a handjob!"-Remus

" Couldn't I?" Snape says raising one eyebrow. Then cornering Remus on the bed." Would you like to see?"

Meanwhile the two having vacated James, Sirius takes off with him into the bathroom as Peter shakily scrambles down the stairs to the common room. Remus and Severus Snape don't really notice the two actions performed as they roll off the bed and onto the floor. ( Twins: Now aren't they dirty, don't forget about us now!) A loud moan from the bathroom catches their attention and causes the both to become very curiuos as to where Sirius and James went. Both jumped up and shout alohamora in unison. The door knocks off it's hinges to reveal.....

Both: TEASER!!!!!!!!!! Moohahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twintwo: Did I just Moo? (shakes head in disbelief and mumbles about need stronger prescriptions)

Twinone: Actually you should lay off the energizing potions.

Both: (looks highly affended, but then we start to recognize things) FLUFFY!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OUR POOR DEAD **COW**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Heh, we said we began to recognize things) Okies! Review our well Cruciofy you! Buhbuy!!!! Hey we didn't get ourselves mixed up!!! SWEET!!!


	2. A Suare!

Our twisted love...square?! or also known as three gryffonder's and a slytherin

Chapter 2, oh the brushing our teeths, or...brushing teeths

Twintwo: I had to change the title cause my (ahem) favorite character was feeling left out.

( Instant flash of Severus Snape gagged and tied to a chair buck-naked)

Twintwo: HEY!! You're not supposed to see that!!! Just...um...forget about that.

Twinone: Hey why can't I get one of those...except in Jamie style!

Twintwo: (laughing) You mean this? ( points to (ahem) site where you're supposed to get them) I'll order one for you since I'M older!

Twinone: Then why am I Twinone?! HM?!

Twintwo: Cause your the brain an' I'm the brawn.

( a muffled yell from Snape)

Twins: Keep it down or mum'll find ya!

( gives a that's-what-I-want-look)

Twin: He's so cute like that. Don't you wish you had one like that?

( doorbell)

Mum: Twin's!! Package!!

Twinone: Moohahahaaa!!! My toy's here! My toy's here!!! ( runs off to get it)

Snape: ( has a oh-my-god-look)

Twinone: (burst back into the room) Can I keep it?! Can I keep it?! ( holds out Garfield)

Snape: ( gives a you're-going-to-do-a-CAT-look)

Twinone: GOD NO!!! This is my sleeping buddy!! My other toy won't come in tell AFTER the story!!

Twintwo: (smirks in a self-satisfied way) That's what I told him too. Sleeping buddy, honestly...

Twinone: (thinks statement over a moment) Oh! No, he's my cuddle-bug! You know, pillow! I'll be wearing my clothes, don't worry! I'm not that crazy...YET!!! MUM!!! MEDICINE!!!!

Disclaimer: Not our's, her's.

Twintwo: On to the story!! ( dodging Mum and her medicine vile)

Twinone: (slightly out of it from medicine) I'll take sis's half. (thunk)

The fun of brushing...teeth

...to reviel Sirius brushing Jamie's teeth with that new crest fingerbrush.(Twins: Didn't see that coming. Did you?)

" Hey I wanna help the birthday boy!"-Remmi

" I already stated that he was MINE..."-Sev

" You know, since it's your birthday an all Jamie, you should go around in your birthday suit!!"-Siri

" (with a finger in his mouth) uhta iay dhunt ave une.( but I don't have one! for all you stupid people or those who don't have hentai(perverted) minds)" Then the three of them strip him to nuthin despite his protest's and 'threats' of telling their teacher their all having having sex with.

" Oh please Jamie. Professor Alex already seen you naked, why can't we?"-Remmi

" If you're forgetting all of you have already. Just not together."-Jamie

" You're fucking us all!"-Remmi, Siri, and Sev

" What's going on here and why am I not part of it?"-Pro. Alex head of Slytherin

" Because they ambushed me in bed. That's why."-Jamie

" So birthday boy. What do you want? For a birthday present?" Professor Alex asked. Jamie, who promptly turned red, thought this over carefully, knowing that the other four weren't going to leave him alone until they had sex with him.

" X, tweak, and five very large bottles of firewhiskey. That's it."-Jamie

"That's all? pity I have some high quality shit. Some Maryjayne and angel dust." Pro.Alex.

" All the better. Come on now let me out of...What the Bloody hell are you trying to do?"-jamie.

"Um I thought that would be obvious Jamie... BRUSH YOUR TEETH! hee hee hee"-Remmi

"ell iay dhunt ahant ou thwoohie too!!!"-jamie (well i dont want you too) spiting out their fingers out of his mouth.

"Come on boys into the bedroom"Pro.Alex

Everyone moves in to the room and Pro.Alex hands Jamie the X and Siri Firewhiskey keeping the Tweak for himself and Sev and Remmi firewhiskey.

"WOW this is good shit Octavian! When did you get this in?" Jamie said as he's handing some tabs to Siri and taking the bottle.

" Just this morning, before I came up here to wish Jamie a happy birthday in a very SPECIAL way. But seeing as you three are here that's out of question right now, so drink up, snort up, eat up, the more the merrier."-Pro.Alex as he's preparing some tweak.

" Wait...how are we supposed to keep this from Dumbledore?"-Sev

" Keep what?"-Remmi

" Easy. A bottle of raspberry shnops and a gallon of vodka and some laced lemon drops'll keep the other teachers and students busy. There playing truth or dare with a couple of viles of truth potion."-Pro.Alex said filling up shot glass's

" What are you doing?"-Siri

" What? Don't you want to play a drinking game?"-Pro.Alex

" Well dugh! But which game?"-Siri

" I never." Jamie said with a glint in his eye.

" Okay, the rules are simple, hopefully, we go around in a circle and say something we've never done and who ever has done the thing drinks."-Sev

" I'll go first. I never failed to perform a mind-blowing blowjob." Siri said causing Jamie and Alex to drink.

"Um...ok...I never had sex with more than two people."Remmi stated causeing everyone but jamie to drink.

"I never had sex with peter." jamie and only Octavian drank.

"what?" asked octavian when he noticed everyone looking at him. "It was a one time thing jamie and siri where gone and it was a fullmoon."

"where was I? I am so way better than fat-ass i mean rat-ass." sev

" Uh you where kinda busy with Malfoy then the rest of the Slytherins." Octavian

"oh" Sev turns a kind of purple red.

"Ok my turn. I never fucked Malfoy...YET." and only Sev drank.

"what it was my personal goal to fuck every one in hogwarts before break. And i did." smirks Sev

"yea well your turn." remmi

"Ok I never fucked Dumbledore." and Octavian and jamie drank.

" I never had sex with an owl before." and then Lucius Malfoy walks in and says "I'll drink to that!" and downs a whole bottle before anyone could protest.

" Well who wants Luci tonight?" asks Remmi and Octavian and Sev raise their hands.

"ok but later. I want in on this game." Luci slurrs.

----intermission or ending?----

Twinone: Should we stop here? (flaming garbage is hurled at her in hopes of knocking her out, she gets the wrong idea) Okay! Okay! We won't stop!

Twintwo: (mumbles about twins eating other twins's popcorn)

----end intermission----

" I've never had sex with Sev." Remmi says as everyone else drinks, including Sev.

" I never had body shots." Jamie said as Octavian, Luci and Siri drink.

quick intervine

Twinone: You notice that Jamie isn't getting to drunk. Or Remmi for that matter...

Twintwo: ...well it's not our fault their virgins now is it sister of mine?

end intervine

" I never turn down a sexual advance." Jamie and remmi drank

" I never have to masturbate." jamie and remmi drink

all the other trade knowing glances and start to think about things that Remmi an Jamie havent done so the rest could get them shit faced.

" Well three bottles down so we should smoke some budds." octavian

" right on." jamie who is Hogwarts residant pothead.

All of the occupants in the room where slurring their words but they werent as bad as Luci who had an entire bottle to himself.

"Here birthday boy you spark it up." siri handed jamie the pipe.

" Yay!" He said lighting it up and taking a rather big pull on the piece and holding it for awhile.

" Damn, how often do you toke?" Remmi

" Oh my GOD!! YOU CUSSED!!!" Everybody else practically screamed causing Jamie to choke on the smoke ( Twintwo: And go broke! Hey, he lost a bet...)

" I'll save you! I know CPR!!" Sev said excitedly as Jamie tries to hide behind Octavian to no avail as Sev pounces on him and proceeds to kiss his brains out, or until Remmi became jealous and hits Sev in the nuts where the sun don't shine. And rather hard, causing a hard on.

" Would you like help over there?" Sev says turning to Remmi and pouncing on him as Luci passes out on top of Octavian. Remmi whimpers.

" Take it like a man." Sev

" Sorry it's a little hard when you're a wolf at the same time." Remmi

" Hey! It's my birthday and I say Remmi's mine!" James is so drunk and stoned at the same time he's talking at the wall.

" Um... Jamie dearest, we're over here. That's the wall." Siri say inbetween laughs

" Sev! Sev! Luci passed out! Let's go!" Octavian says exstatically while striping Luci of his clothes ( Twins: He's gunna have one HELL of a hangover...and a soar arse...)

" I want Remmi and Jamie right now. Have him, I already have." Sev

" What?! No one wants me?!" Siri play pouts ( TWins: We do!) Then Siri goes over to Octavian and begins to pull on his pants while whimpering. " It hurts. Help." Siri is so turned on by all the rough housing he's desperate for SOMETHING from ANYONE.

( TWins: We'll help! Hello!! Over here!!)

Sev who is ignoring Sirius and Octavians dilemma begins to strip Remmi by riping off his clothes. Remmi who is unacustomed to this type of sex tries to get away and begins to scream. Jamie has sat down on the floor and stares at the wall wondering were everybody else has gone and were the hell that noise was coming from. He is so out of it it's cute and now he has a rather big problem and he needs help. He gets up to go get it and runs into the wall. ( Twins: The things we write when we can think clearly. Or as close to thinking as we can get.)

" Jamie are you alright?" Slurrs Remmi who is now as drunk as Jamie and doesn't mind the fact that Sev is touching every inch of skin he can reach.

" Remmi? Tha' u? Ere is evyun?" Jamie says rather tiredly, he doesn't feel the pain in his nose as much as does the one in his pants.

"cum here jamie." and remmi gets up leaving a sad looking sev behind half dressed.

"Damn i almost had him almost!!!"-sev

"get your sexy arse over here sevvie." growls remmi " we have some unfinished bussiness and a birthday boy to fuck!"

" alright two in one!!!" exclaimes sev

meanwhile octavian and siri are make some LOUD and WILD noises next bed over.

" No NO NONONONONNOONON dont." slurrs octavian

" what? havent been on the receving end before? hm? is that it? well just relax, its not that BIG really it wont hurt." siri says siri who shifts slightly to grab some lube from under remmi's bed.

" Nope no go misster Black"

Twintwo: Evil so evil we are!

Twinone:Message time!

Twintwo:bwahahahahah!

Twinone: I wanna know i wanna know!

Twintwo: shut up twit WE know whats going to happen!

Twinone: What you mean Octavians true identity and harrys TRUE parantage???

Twintwo: once again do shut up one you'll give it away!!!

Both: REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
